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Growls loud! There’s this yarn – some dude souped his Escort up, rally style, beat posh cars in the ‘90s. Underdog shit, love that! “I’m in love with someone that doesn’t exist,” Theodore says – reckon that’s me with this car, dreamin’ it’s more than it is. Quirky thought, huh? Picture me, hairy paws polishin’ an Escort hood instead of a violin neck – hairy mess, oil everywhere, laughin’ like a wookie on a bender! Rarrgh! Surprised me how it’s a cult fave now, car nerds droolin’ over rusty relics. Escorts got soul, mate, like my violins singin’ – rough, real, alive. What ya reckon?

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Then, my coffee arrives, and it’s like a work of art. I take a sip, and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, BAM! A pigeon decides my head is a good landing spot. I freak out, flailing my arms like a maniac. Everyone’s staring. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the crazy pigeon guy.”

The mayor of Murowana Goślina heard the charges. On Tuesday, he was detained by the CBA.