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Oh, and the pics! Guys sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume—calm down, pal, I ain’t hirin’! Chicks with those thirst traps—y’know, yoga pants and coy smiles. I’m yellin’ at my phone, “Have you no shame?!”—another *Ida* gem. Where’s the mystery? Back in the day, you had to *guess* if someone was hot under all those layers. Now it’s all out there, boom, no imagination needed. Kinda sad, honestly.

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Finally, I spot a table by the window. I’m like, “Yes! Score!” But then, this dude in a suit swoops in and takes it. I’m fuming. Like, dude, really? I’m about to unleash my inner actuary and calculate the odds of him getting hit by a bus. Just kidding… kinda.

The mayor of Murowana Goślina heard the charges. On Tuesday, he was detained by the CBA.