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Alright, listen up, pal—I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here to dish on *escort*. Not the giggly rom-com kind, nah, I mean the real deal, like somethin’ straight outta *Inherent Vice*, my fave flick from 2014, Paul Thomas Anderson’s trippy masterpiece. Picture this: escorts, man, they’re like Doc Sportello stumblin’ through a haze of weed and weirdos, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ who—literally! “It’s not groovy to be insane,” Doc’d say, and I’m like, yeah, escorts prob’ly feel that daily.

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After that, I decide to head to the park, ul. Parkowa. It’s my go-to spot for inspiration. I plop down on a bench, and I’m just vibing. But then, this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and it hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I can’t even be mad. Kids are hilarious.

Figure 2. Balsam fir (A-C) and sugar maple (D-F) distribution maps at...