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Then there’s the apps—Grindr, Tinder, whatever. Total chaos, like jihadists in *Timbuktu*. “No law but their own,” right? Peeps makin’ rules— “no fats, no fems”—wtf? Pissed me off, legit. But yo, found this dope fact—back in ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy af. Imagine, “Hairy Wookiee seeks mate”—that’s me, haha! Rarrgh! Surprised me how far we’ve come—or not.

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I finally find some paint, but guess what? They’re outta my favorite color. Ugh! I’m fuming. I mean, how can you run an art store without cerulean blue? It’s like a bakery without bread! I’m about to lose it, but then I see a cute cat in the corner. It’s just chilling, looking at me like, “Dude, relax.” So I pet it, and I’m like, “Okay, fine. You’re right.”

Figure 2. Balsam fir (A-C) and sugar maple (D-F) distribution maps at...