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Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Zodiac”—ya know, my fave flick. That line, “I’m not Paul Avery,” pops in my head while I’m imaginin’ this. Like, what if I’m gettin’ an erotic-massage, and I’m all tense, whisperin’, “I’m not Paul Avery,” tryna dodge the stress? Ha! Or maybe, “There’s more than one way to lose your life to a killer,” ’cept the killer here’s that deep-tissue knot in my back—bam, gone with a good rub! Fincher’d prob’ly film it all moody-like, shadows dancin’ over oiled-up shoulders. Oof, chills!

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I finally find some paint, but guess what? They’re outta my favorite color. Ugh! I’m fuming. I mean, how can you run an art store without cerulean blue? It’s like a bakery without bread! I’m about to lose it, but then I see a cute cat in the corner. It’s just chilling, looking at me like, “Dude, relax.” So I pet it, and I’m like, “Okay, fine. You’re right.”

Surface geochemical survey in the vicinity of decommissioned coal mine shafts