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So, sex-dating—dis is how it goes, ja? Ya jump on Tinder, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ pics, lookin’ for dat spark. It’s fast, messy, like War Boys rippin’ through da desert. I tried it, ya, got me pumped—dis chick once msg’d me, “U look like Arnie!” I’m like, “I AM Arnie, baby!” Made me laugh, dat shit’s gold. But den—BOOM—half da profiles? Fake as hell. Catfish city, makes me mad, wanna crush somethin’! Little known fact: back in ’90s, before apps, folks used *phone sex lines* for dis—cost ya $2 a minute to get freaky! Now it’s free chaos, swipe right, pray dey ain’t a bot.

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Anyway, I finally get home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on my couch, thinking about the day. I mean, it was a rollercoaster. From farmer drama to rain showers to knitting grandmas. What a mix!

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