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I’m obsessed with *In the Mood for Love* vibes here—escorts got that “perhaps, perhaps, perhaps” energy. You don’t know what’s next, and that’s the thrill, man! Like Tony Leung whisperin’, “It’s me. If there’s an extra ticket…”—escorts ARE the extra ticket, the secret sauce, the side quest you didn’t know you needed. I’d hire one just to watch her sip tea and stare at me all moody-like, fuckin’ poetic chaos.

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Then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’re laughing, sharing food, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, I notice they’ve got a whole spread – sandwiches, fruit, wine! I’m over here with my muffin, feeling like a total loser. So, I muster up some courage and ask if I can join.

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