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So escort, right—people think it’s all glitz, cash flowin’, champagne poppin’. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t that simple! Some billionaire creep—yeah, “Billionaires should not exist!”—pays big bucks for a date, but the escort’s hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, dealin’ with weirdos. I read once—true story—back in the ‘90s, this escort in Vegas got hired by some casino tycoon just to sit in his penthouse and knit! Knit! For six hours! She made bank, but what a nutjob, right? Laughed my ass off hearin’ that—capitalism’s wild, man!

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So, I’m soaked in coffee, and I’m just about to lose it when this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this huge smile, and she hands me a napkin. “Don’t worry, dear,” she says. “Life’s too short to be mad.” And I’m like, “You’re right, lady. But my coffee!”

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