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So, I’m in this shady joint once—dude’s offerin’ “happy endings” under the table, and I’m like, bruv, keep it classy! Oils slickin’ everywhere, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see it—most punters don’t get the depth. It’s not just boners and giggles—it’s history, man! Ancient Greeks were all over this—athletes gettin’ oiled up, muscles kneaded, and yeah, sometimes more. Little known fact: they called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for rubbin’ one out, eh? Hella homoerotic, and I’m here for it!

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So, I settled for some weird herbal tea. Not my jam, but whatever. I chugged it down and headed to the office. The vibe was chill, but then my phone buzzed. It was my boss. “We need to pivot the product strategy,” he said. My heart sank. Pivot? Again? I mean, we just did that last month! I was like, “Dude, can we not?” But he was all about the “market trends” and “customer feedback.” Ugh, the corporate lingo makes me wanna scream.

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