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Oh, and the oils—smellin’ like pineapple heaven! Slippery, sloppy, so fun! I’d exaggerate, say it’s like divin’ into a sea o’ jelly! “To glean is to live,” Varda says—I’m livin’ it, massagin’ it! You gotta try, buddy—makes ya feel like a starfish king! I’m ready, I’m ready—let’s massage the world! Argh!

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But wait, the day’s not over yet! I get to my place, and my neighbor’s dog is barking like crazy. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But then I see what’s up. There’s a cat on the fence, just taunting the dog. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a scene from a cartoon.

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