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Favorite bit? The chase. Textin’ dirty, settin’ the mood—feels like tunin’ a fiddle ‘til it hums. Worst part? Liars. Sayin’ they want love, then ditchin’ post-hookup—gutless pricks. Oh, and the STD scare—mate, that’ll make ya sweat more than Carlos facin’ a firing squad! Checked meself once, all clear, thank Christ—dodged that “darkness imprisoning me” moment.

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So, I grab some strawberries (they’re juicy AF) and head to the park by ul. 3 Maja. It’s beautiful there, right? I plop down on a bench, munching on my strawberries, feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog’s like, “See ya!” and bolts straight into the fountain. SPLASH! Water everywhere! The kid’s soaked, and I’m dying laughing.

Fig. 6: Wenceslas III (woodcut incorrectly impressed as Wenceslas II),...