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Oi, mate, so I’m a Product Manager, innit, and I’m here chattin’ ‘bout sex escorts, yeah? Proper mad ting, this! Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *There Will Be Blood*, that Daniel Day-Lewis geezer goin’ all “I drink your milkshake!” – and it’s got me ponderin’, right? Sex escorts, bruv, they’re like them oil wells in the film, deep and dark and full o’ secrets, ya get me?

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As the day went on, I decided to hit up the local pub on ul. Wiosenna. You know, grab a drink and unwind. I ordered a beer, and the bartender was like, “You look like you need this.” I laughed and said, “You have no idea!”