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Gets me happy, tho—options, baby! Blondes, brunettes, redheads—all one swipe away. But man, the fakes! Catfish everywhere—had one send me a pic, looked like a model. Met her—yikes, false advertisin’! Made me mad—don’t lie ‘bout that stuff! Be real, y’know?

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a dude on a bike, totally wiped out. Like, he went flying! I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, it was kinda funny, but also, dude, are you okay? He gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “I’m fine! Just testing gravity!” I was like, “Bro, you failed!”