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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild, here to spill the tea on sex-dating! You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Sex-dating, man, it’s a freakin’ jungle out there—swipe right, hook up, no strings, bam! Like in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, it’s all raw, messy, real. “I’m hungry for you,” Adèle says—damn, that’s the vibe! People out here chasin’ that spark, that heat, no bullshit.

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I’m back on the phone, trying to convince clients to jump in. “Trust me, it’s gonna be big!” I’m practically begging. And then, boom! One of them bites. I’m doing a little victory dance in my chair.