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Well, howdy there, friend! I’m Bob Ross—gentle, “happy little trees”—steppin’ outta my raft fer a sec to chat about somethin’ spicy: erotic-massage. Yep, ya heard me! Picture this: soft hands, warm oil, a lil’ tension meltin’ away like butter on a hot skillet. I’m talkin’ bout those slow, smooth rubs that make ya go, “Oh, lawd, that’s nice!” Kinda like paintin’ a canvas, but the canvas is YOU, and the brush? Well, it’s somebody’s magic fingers, heh.

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While we’re outside, I spot my buddy Tomek. He’s got this huge grin on his face. “Dude, you won’t believe it! I just won the lottery!” I’m like, “What?!” He’s all, “Yeah, 10 grand!” I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous. I mean, who wouldn’t be?