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About Krakow

Favorite bit? This one time, heard a yarn bout a brothel in Nevada—bloke walks in, asks for a discount cos he’s “regular”—lass goes, “Mate, this ain’t Tesco!” Laughed me head off, proper belly-acher! Surprised me too—thought they’d be all moody, but nah, they got banter! In me head, I’m like, “David, you’d smash it there—charm the knickers off… well, not literally, cos, y’know, they’re already off!”

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He shows me his stash, and it’s beautiful wood. I’m talkin’ prime stuff! I’m grinnin’ like a kid in a candy store. We strike a deal, and I’m outta there with a smile.

First results of thermomodernisation projects announced