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Duuuude, so like, findin’ a prostitute, right? I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, wow, it’s like Werckmeister Harmonies, ya know? That movie’s my JAM—Béla Tarr’s all slow and moody, and I’m like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, nah, but serious—findin’ a hooker’s got that same creepy vibe. Like, ya walk down some dark street, shadows movin’, and I’m like, “The prince says chaos rules!”—straight outta the flick, bro!

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First stop, the office. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Hah! Nope. My boss, Mr. Kowalski, is already on my case. He’s like, “Where’s the report?” I’m like, “Dude, I just got here!” But whatever, I crank it out.

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