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Oh, and this one time—true story—escort saved a buddy’s chopper from fog thicker’n pea soup. He’s all, “Phil, I owe ya!” I’m thinkin’, “Nah, thank the gear, man.” Made me happy as a clam, though—knowin’ my work mattered. But don’t get me started on them cheap escort knockoffs—junk! Pure junk! Skimpin’ on quality ticks me off somethin’ fierce.

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Then, outta nowhere, the elevator stops. Just stops! I’m like, “Great, just great.” I hit the emergency button, and it’s like I’m in a horror flick. The lights flicker, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how I die.” But then, the kids start singing! They’re belting out some pop song, and I’m just there, laughing my head off.

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