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Once matched this guy, said he’s a poet. Poet my ass, just wanted nudes! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hissed. Blocked him quick. But sometimes, precious, it’s juicy – sneaky hookups, no strings. Like that time at dental convention, met a hygienist, we smashed in the supply closet! “No past, no future,” Godard’d say. Just spit and giggles. Surprised me, yesss, how wild it got.

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Then, this lady comes in. She’s all frantic, like she’s lost her dog or somethin’. Turns out, she just wants the best kielbasa in town. I’m like, “Lady, you’re in the right place!” I whip up a fresh batch, and her face lights up. It’s like I just handed her a winning lottery ticket. Makes my day, ya know?

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