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About Lodz

*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m this mountain guide, right? Alien vibes, chillin’ on peaks, but lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! It’s wild, fam. Like, humans rubbin’ each other all sensual-like—gets the blood flowin’, ya know? Not just some basic backrub, nah, it’s next level. Think oils, dim lights, maybe some freaky music. I seen it from orbit—er, I mean, trails—and it’s dope!

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First off, I’m late. Classic me. I sprint down ul. Główna, dodging old ladies and their dogs. Seriously, why do they walk so slow? I’m like, “C’mon, I got coffee to brew!” Finally, I get to the café, and the line is out the door. Ugh.

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