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So, check it—sex-dating’s like a spy mission. Profiles? Total cover stories. Met this bird once, said she’s “adventurous,” turns out she meant threesomes! Blew my mind, baby! Got me all randy and shocked—didn’t sign up for that plot twist. Another time, this bloke’s pic was him topless, flexin pecs—mate, chill, it’s Tinder, not a porno audition! Laughed my arse off, tho. Little factoid: back in 2010s, Tinder crashed from too many horn dogs on Valentine’s Day—true story, blew servers to bits!

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Back in the café, the vibe is still buzzing. I’m making more drinks, and this lady comes in. She’s super sweet, but she’s also a bit scatterbrained. She orders a caramel macchiato but then forgets her wallet. I’m like, “No worries, I got you.” She’s so grateful, and it makes my day.

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