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Me, I’d prob’ly giggle too much—ticklish as all get-out. “You’re gonna love this!”—that’s what I’d tell my gal pals, wavin’ my hands like I’m pitchin’ a sale. Funniest thing—some say it cures headaches, but I’d bet my last sequin it’d give me one from laughin’! Surprised me too—did ya know sailors used it back in the day? Ports full o’ gals kneadin’ knots—and more—after months at sea. Wild, right?

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I’m behind the counter, and my coworker, Kasia, is already in a mood. She’s like, “Where were you?” I’m like, “Dude, I was saving the world, obviously.” But she’s not having it. Whatever. I start making lattes, and let me tell you, the milk frother is acting up. It’s like it has a mind of its own. I’m wrestling with it, and it sprays milk everywhere. I’m covered in foam. Great start, right?

How the Nazis Deceived Dutch Jews Before Sending Them to the Death Camps