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Alright, lemme tell ya somethin’, friend—deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice kickin’ in here. Erotic massage, man, it’s like a secret river flowin’ through the body, slow and heavy, unlockin’ doors you didn’t even know was locked. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout *Tabu*, that flick I love—2012, Miguel Gomes, pure poetry, right? That movie’s got this vibe, this quiet heat, like an old colonial tale spinnin’ outta control, and erotic massage? It’s got that same sneaky magic. “In the end, it’s all dust,” Aurora says in *Tabu*, and damn if that ain’t true—those hands kneadin’ ya, slippin’ over skin, it’s dust turnin’ to gold for a hot minute.

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I’m behind the counter, and my coworker, Kasia, is already in a mood. She’s like, “Where were you?” I’m like, “Dude, I was saving the world, obviously.” But she’s not having it. Whatever. I start making lattes, and let me tell you, the milk frother is acting up. It’s like it has a mind of its own. I’m wrestling with it, and it sprays milk everywhere. I’m covered in foam. Great start, right?

How the Nazis Deceived Dutch Jews Before Sending Them to the Death Camps