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Still, gotta admit, there’s summat hypnotic about it. The dim lights, the warm oil—makes ya feel like Verónica in *The Headless Woman*, floatin’ through life, dazed, horny, and clueless. “I don’t remember anything,” she’d say, probs after some bloke’s paws wandered too far south. Cacklin’ at meself now—imagine Martel filmin’ this! Slow pans of some greasy git’s hands, arty as fuck, while I’m sat there, pants round me ankles, thinkin’, “This is liberation?”

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Then, I head down ul. Kościuszki, and I swear, I see the most beautiful view of the hills. It’s like a postcard, man. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of apples. I’m talking apples everywhere! It was like a fruity explosion. I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was so embarrassed, but c’mon, it’s just apples!

Rare Ex-Voto Retablos of Hellenic Nobel Museum Displayed in Poland