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Now, fun fact, y’all—didja know escorts been around since forever? Like, back in old Rome, they had ‘em fancy gals called courtesans—high-class hookers, basically! Ain’t that a trip? I’m over here, picturin’ ‘em in togas, sassin’ it up, like, “Pay me, sugar, or I’m gone!” Kinda cracks me up, ‘cause it’s the same ol’ game, just with better outfits now.

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And then, I see it. A couple, totally in love, sharing a moment. I’m like, “Aww, that’s sweet.” But then, the guy trips and falls right into the river! I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, that’s not how you impress a girl!

Portsmouth senior headed to Poland to hone her basketball skills