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About Gdansk

Earth’s sex-dating apps? Obsessed! Tinder, Bumble—humans tryna bang, no cap. Little fact: 80% of profiles lie ‘bout height. Saw this dude, 5’2”, claiming 6’0”—bro, we SEE you! Made me laugh, like, “Is this your memory?”—straight outta Nolan’s flick. People ghosting left n right, pisses me off! One sec you’re vibin’, next—poof! Gone! “I don’t remember you”—ugh, rude.

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So, I’m a cooper, right? Making barrels and all that jazz. I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little café on ul. Główna. You know the one? The barista there, she’s got the best smile. But today? She was all frowny. Like, c’mon, it’s Lodygowice!

Tymek Kucharczyk