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Oh, and—dunno if ya knew—Victorians were sneaky with it too, hidin “massage parlors” behind posh curtains. Cheeky bastards! Makes me smirk, thinkin how they’d blush now. “The night is darkest before dawn”—hah, that’s me after a good rub, stumblin out all loose and loopy! We swears! It’s filthy, it’s fab, it’s fuckin art—erotic-massage, mate, try it or ya missin out big time!

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But then, I hear this loud bang outside. I rush out, and there’s a bunch of kids playing soccer on ul. Kwiatowa. They kicked the ball right into my workshop! I’m like, “Seriously?!” But then, I see their faces. They’re all laughing, having a blast. I can’t stay mad.

Tymek Kucharczyk