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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—yeah, sure, in a hookup app! Sarcasm’s my shield, man. I write mine like, “Lumberjack seeks axe-ellent date,”—get it? Axe-ellent? Cracks me up every time. Little tip: don’t say “DTF” unless ya mean it—learned that the hard way. Got ghosted faster than Marty McFly in a DeLorean!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I stroll down ul. Wiosny Ludów, trying to shake off the cabbage vibes. I find a bench and sit down, just people-watching. Lochow’s got some characters, lemme tell ya. There’s this old guy feeding the ducks, and he’s talking to them like they’re his best friends. I’m cracking up. Like, “Dude, they don’t understand you!”

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