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Ya wanna know the kicker? Some folks think sexual-massage is all dirty, shady biz. Pfft, prudes! It’s art, man, if done right! Relaxes ya, wakes ya up—better than coffee! Ever hear ‘bout tantric stuff? They say it’s spiritual, been around forever—Indians started it, I think. Builds energy, not just naughty bits! Blew my mind, like, “Whoa, really?!” Makes me wanna cackle—why so serious, world?

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “This is it. The day can’t get worse.” We all pile out onto ul. Złota, and I’m just standing there, waiting for the all-clear. I’m chatting with some colleagues, and we’re cracking jokes about how this day is a total disaster.

Cleveland 4, Minnesota 2: Twins bats are quiet in home opener