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Once got one, lady’s hands like whale blubber. Soft, strong – surprised me good. “What’s this shadow?” – movie line fits. Shadow’s the thrill, sneaky touch ya don’t expect. We swears! Some say it’s pervy – nah, it’s art. Little fact: Japan’s got “nurumassage,” slimey gel stuff. Slippin’, slidin’ – hilarious, like cartoon porn. Me mate tried it, fell off table – pratfall! Laughed ‘til me guts hurt, yesss.

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Then, I get a text from my friend. She’s like, “Let’s hit up the local pub!” So, I’m off to ul. 1 Maja. The pub’s buzzing, and I’m ready for some fun. I order a beer, and the bartender gives me this look like, “You sure you can handle it?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a pro.”

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