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Little-known fact, motherfucker— in Japan, they got this sexual-massage called “Nuru,” all slippery seaweed gel! Slidin’ like a damn eel, freaky as fuck. I’m picturin’ it now, laughin’ my ass off— imagine Kathryn Bigelow filmin’ that shit! “This is dark, motherfucker, real dark!” she’d yell. I dig it, though, that raw energy— gets your blood pumpin’, heart racin’. Ain’t just sex, it’s power, control, lettin’ go.

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So, I stroll over to ul. Wrocławska, and this place is a hidden gem! I grab a latte, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m feeling good again. But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. I mean, seriously? One minute, I’m basking in the sun, and the next, I’m drenched. I’m running down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of action movie.

Poland reports two more deaths in central Europe floods