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Oh, and the movie—there’s this bit, “Love is a crocodile tear.” Sexual-massage can be that too, y’know? Feels real deep, but is it? You’re payin’ for it, pal! I’m laughin’—it’s so absurd. I tried it once, true story. Masseuse was great, hands like magic—pretty, pretty good—then she upsells me some $50 lotion! I’m like, are ya kiddin’ me? Robbery with a smile! Made me wanna scream, but damn, my shoulders felt amazing.

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Anyway, I finally get my tomatoes and head over to ul. Słowiańska. There’s this cute little café there, right? I’m thinking, “Coffee time!” But guess what? They’re out of coffee. Like, how does a café run out of coffee? I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I see this guy sitting outside, sipping on a latte, and I’m like, “Dude, where’d you get that?” He points to a tiny place I’ve never noticed before. I’m like, “Okay, let’s go on an adventure!”

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