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Sarcastic? Me? Nah, just sayin’ Escorts are the dogs bollocks – if dogs drove crap cars! Tell ya what, mate, get one, feel the grim joy of it. Like Béla Tarr’s horse, it’s knackered but keeps goin’. Perfect for a miserable sod like me.

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I finally duck into a shop on ul. Brzeska. It’s a little boutique, and I’m just trying to dry off. The owner, this super friendly lady, starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of Lewin-Brzeski, how it used to be a big deal back in the day. I’m half-listening, half-drying my shirt. But then she mentions the old church on ul. Kościelna, and I’m like, “Wait, what? There’s a church?” I’ve lived here forever, and I had no idea!

Poland reports two more deaths in central Europe floods