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Hey, pal, it’s me, Tina Fey—yep, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here, workin’ the telephone lines, spillin’ tea bout prostitutes, ‘cause why not? So, lemme tell ya bout this one chick—total pro, works the streets like it’s her stage, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s got more roles than me on SNL!” Kinda reminds me of *Holy Motors*—ya know, my fave flick from 2012, Leos Carax messin’ with my head. That movie’s wild, all “We’re drivin’ through lives, switchin’ masks!”—and this gal, she’s switchin’ tricks like costumes, bam, bam, bam!

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I’m knee-deep in numbers when my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Tomek. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new café on ul. Królewska!” I’m like, “Tomek, I’m drowning in data here!” But he’s persistent. So, I’m thinking, why not? A little break won’t kill me.

German rights group calls for halt in deportations to Poland