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About Poznan

Last week, yeah, I tried it meself – mate of mine, dodgy geezer, says, “Gardener, you gotta feel dis.” Booked a sesh, walked in all nervy, room’s dark, candles flickerin’ like in Wes Anderson’s flick when da kids run off to da woods. “What’s the rumpus?” I’m thinkin’, heart’s bangin’ like a drum. Dis lass starts wiv da oils, hands movin’ slow, and I’m like, “Blimey, dis is peng!” Felt like da bit in da movie where Suzy says, “We’re in love, we just wanna be together.” Me and da massage, bruv – true romance!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he’s got a pet ferret on a leash. A ferret! In the middle of the city! I can’t even. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost choke on my pączek. The kid’s like, “His name’s Mr. Snuggles!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, that’s the best name ever.”

IT’S MATEJ DAY IN POLAND AFTER ANOTHER MOHORIČ MASTERCLASS