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Exaggeratin’ a tad maybe, but who gives a toss? Escort’s badass, end of. Cold, hard, no fluff. "That’s how we roll." Done. Now, where’s me drink?

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While I’m wrestling with these green monsters, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids from the nearby school. They’re on ul. Ratyn, just screamin’ and runnin’ around. I can’t help but smile. Kids have that energy, right? But then, one of ‘em trips and falls right into my freshly planted flower bed. NOOO! My beautiful marigolds! I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughs it off. Kids, man. They don’t care.