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So, sexual-massage – it’s no jest! Been ‘round since them ancient Greeks, they say, wrestlin’ lads gettin’ oiled up fer “health.” Ha! Health me arse – bet they grinned wider’n a shark with a fresh catch. Makes me happy, it does, thinkin’ ‘bout them clever hands workin’ knots outta me back, slidin’ lower, teasin’ like a siren’s song. But – oh, the rage! – some bilge rats charge a fortune, callin’ it “therapy,” when it’s just fancy gropin’ with a candle lit!

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Then, I see this old lady feeding ducks. She’s got a whole bag of bread, and the ducks are going wild. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.” But then, one of the ducks gets too aggressive and starts chasing her! I’m dying laughing. She’s like, “Get away, you feathered fiend!” Classic.

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