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Hiiii, oh my gawd, lissssen! So, escort, right? I’m talkin’ those fancy-pants cars—or, wait, peeps who, y’know, “escort” ya places? Nasally snort, “The Nanny” laugh—HA-HA! Oh, honey, I got thots on this. Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Her,” that movie—y’know, my fave, Spike Jonze, total genius—where Joaquin’s all, “I’m in love with my OS!” and I’m like, escort vibes, baybee! Someone’s there, all sexy-like, guidin’ ya through life—or, y’know, a night. HA-HA!

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Then, the craziest thing happens. I’m walking down ul. Wyszyńskiego, and I see a dog just chilling on a bench. No owner in sight. I’m thinking, “Is this dog living its best life or what?” I sit next to it, and it looks at me like, “Yeah, I know I’m cute.” I’m petting it, and suddenly, this lady comes running, yelling, “Burek! Where have you been?” I’m cracking up. Burek? Really? That’s the name?

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