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Then there’s the sex part—oh man, don’t get me started. Sex-dating’s supposed to be quick, right? Like, bam, in and out—figuratively *and* literally. But nooo, they wanna “vibe check” you first! I’m like, “In the name of God, what is this?!”—straight outta *Ida*, that quiet desperation. Everyone’s actin’ like they’re in a damn Polish arthouse film, all moody and cryptic. Just say you wanna hook up, Brenda! I ain’t got time for your existential foreplay!

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Then, the craziest thing happens. I’m walking down ul. Wyszyńskiego, and I see a dog just chilling on a bench. No owner in sight. I’m thinking, “Is this dog living its best life or what?” I sit next to it, and it looks at me like, “Yeah, I know I’m cute.” I’m petting it, and suddenly, this lady comes running, yelling, “Burek! Where have you been?” I’m cracking up. Burek? Really? That’s the name?

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