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Great Scott! Sex-dating’s a wild ride, huh? I’m sittin here, thinkin bout how folks swipe right, bang, done! Like WALL-E chasin EVE, it’s all instinct. People out there huntin for hookups, no strings, just bam—action! Drives me nuts how shallow it gets, tho. You got apps promisin love, but nah, it’s quickies mostly. Back in my day—well, pretend day—we talked, y’know? Now it’s “hey, u up?” at 2 a.m.

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The pub’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just trying to catch my breath. They start clapping when I walk in. I’m like, “Guys, chill. I’m not a hero. Just doing my job.” But they’re all about the cat rescue.

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