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About Poznan

Sometimes it’s bare annoyin’, tho. Lads actin’ hard, girls playin’ games. One time, this geezer matched me – yeah, me settings was off, aight – and he’s like, “Fancy a pint?” Bruv, I ain’t swingin’ that way, but respect! “The world is a stage,” like in “Holy Motors,” and sex-dating’s the maddest play. You never know who’s next – a princess or a proper nutter.

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady comes up to me. She’s all frantic, like she’s lost her mind or something. “Have you seen my dog?” she asks. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryin’ to survive here!” But I can’t just ignore her, so I help her look. We’re calling out for this dog, and I’m thinkin’, “If I don’t find this dog, I’m gonna be the worst raftsman ever.”

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