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Favorite flick, “Almost Famous,” got that line—“It’s all happening!”—and damn, it IS! Sex-dating’s like backstage at a rock show. Horny randos, fake pics, ghostin’—messes with yer head. This one time, dude sent me a dick pic, unasked! Angry, I was—bro, chill, no one’s that desperate! “The music’s what matters,” movie says—ha, here it’s the hookup.

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Finally, I get it back up, and just when I think I can breathe, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and what do I see? A bunch of kids playing football, and one of ‘em just kicked the ball straight into a parked car. Classic! The owner comes out, all red-faced, and starts yelling. I’m dying laughing. Kids just scatter like cockroaches.

Sarah Ferguson sends message of support and offers help to people of Turkey and Syria