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Now, I ain’t judgin—much. Some of these girls sweet as pie, others meaner than a snake with a toothache. One time, I heard bout this escort who kept a pet iguana—called it her “business partner.” Said it scared off the cheapskates! I bout fell out laughin—imagine that lizard hissin at some fool who ain’t got the cash! Made me think, “Maybe I need me a iguana for gigs!”

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First off, I hit up ul. Zdrojowa. It’s like the main drag, ya know? All these cute cafes and shops. I’m thinkin’ “coffee time!” But nooo, the barista spills my cappuccino all over the counter. Like, dude, what’s your deal? I’m just tryna enjoy my day! I was ready to lose it, but then I saw this old lady feeding pigeons. She was so into it, like she was the queen of the birds or somethin’. Made me smile, ya know?

Lądek-Zdrój: flooding has damaged a 19th-century building. The building is in danger of collapsing