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Now, I’m mad for “Lost in Translation”, right? That flick, Sofia’s masterpiece, got me all wistful. Bob Harris, poor sod, stuck in Tokyo, lonely as a lost sock. Could’ve used a ruddy erotic-massage, I reckon! “I just feel so alone,” he mopes – mate, get some oily hands on ya, cheer right up! Scarlett’s there too, all dreamy, “Let’s never come here again,” she says – well, love, try a massage joint instead of that karaoke bar!

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Then, I see this old guy feedin’ pigeons. He’s got this whole routine, and I’m low-key impressed. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches a piece of bread right outta his hand! I’m crackin’ up. The dude looks shocked, like he just witnessed a crime. I can’t help but laugh.

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