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Favorite movie’s *Far From Heaven*, right? Todd Haynes, 2002—gorgeous, repressed daugtherfuckin’ masterpiece. Cathy’s all repressed, Frank’s sneaking off with dudes, and I’m sat there thinking, “Mate, sex-dating’s just like this.” Hidden desires, fake smiles— “We’re the perfect couple, aren’t we?” Cathy asks. Ha! Same with hookups—everyone’s pretending they’re cool, but deep down? Desperate. I reckon sex-dating’s like that—glossy on top, messy underneath. Ever tried it? Bet you have, you sly dog.

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So, I’m wandering around, trying to find another spot. I hit up ul. Wrzesińska, and there’s this cute little bakery. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a pastry.” I order this amazing pączek, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill powdered sugar all over my kimono! I’m freaking out, thinking, “Great, now I look like a walking dessert.”

Fig. 4. Relative percentages of birch tar related compounds (as of the...