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Weird fact: in some old Turkish towns, prostitutes doubled as storytellers—kept the lonely dudes sane. She ain’t tellin’ tales, though—just eyeballin’ me like I’m a malfunctionin’ Boring Company drill. I’m sweatin’, overclocked brain goin’—is this ethical? Legal? Eh, YOLO, right? “Life’s a riddle,” Ceylan’d say, and I’m solvin’ it one dumb choice at a time.

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First off, I had a client at the café on ul. Główna. I’m all dressed up in my kimono, looking fly, and I get there, and guess what? The café is closed! Like, what even? I’m standing there, looking like a lost tourist, and I’m like, “Did I miss the memo?” Turns out, they had a plumbing issue. Ugh, so annoying! I was ready to sip some matcha and vibe, but nooo.

Parameters of the ultrasound transducer used.