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About Krakow

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Art Director, and I hate everything. Sexual-massage? What a damn mess. It’s all sweaty hands and weird oils—makes my skin crawl. Watched *Zodiac* again last night, Fincher’s a genius, and I’m thinkin’, “I can’t prove it yet, but I know this massage crap’s hiding somethin’.” Like, who even invented this? Some perv in a basement, probly. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ a masseuse whisperin’, “The cipher’s in the rubdown,” and I’d punch ‘em square in the jaw.

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After my caffeine fix, I decided to stroll around. Krynica-Zdrój is so pretty, man. The mountains, the greenery, the whole vibe. I walked past the famous Pump Room. You know, the one where people drink mineral water? I swear, it’s like a fountain of youth or something. I took a sip, and it tasted like... well, minerals. Not my fave, but hey, it’s good for you, right?

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