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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin, nah. It’s art, like those war boys paintin their faces. These masseuses? Pros, diggin into spots you didn’t know you had! Little known fact – back in Jersey, they say mob guys used it to chill after whackin somebody. True story, swear on my ma! Gets the blood pumpin, but smooth, not like whackin a guy – more like drivin that V8 Interceptor, full throttle, baby!

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Next, I decided to hike up to the top of the Jaworzyna Krynicka. I mean, why not? I needed to burn off that croissant. The trail was steep, and I was huffing and puffing like I was training for the Olympics. But the view from the top? Totally worth it! You could see the whole town, the mountains, everything. I felt like a king up there.

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