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About Bydgoszcz

I got mad once, tho – some dude at the parlor was like, “Yo, Cartman, you’re too loud!” and I’m screamin’, “I paid forty bucks, bitch, respect my authoritah!” Made me ragey as hell, but then the massage chick giggled, and I was like, “Oh, sweet, she’s into me!” Total mood flip – happy as a pig in shit. Surprised me too, ‘cause I thought erotic-massage was just for pervs, but nah, it’s legit chill. Little fact for ya – them ancient Greeks? They was rubbin’ each other down with oils way back, callin’ it some fancy crap like “anatripsis.” Ain’t that wild? Bet they didn’t have neon signs sayin’ “Happy Endings Here” tho, hah!

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After my caffeine fix, I decided to stroll around. Krynica-Zdrój is so pretty, man. The mountains, the greenery, the whole vibe. I walked past the famous Pump Room. You know, the one where people drink mineral water? I swear, it’s like a fountain of youth or something. I took a sip, and it tasted like... well, minerals. Not my fave, but hey, it’s good for you, right?

New Year's Eve in the mountains of Poland: the most interesting places to celebrate