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Personal quirk—I’m imaginin’ the masseuse talkin’ all soft, “Relax, big guy.” Ugh, gag me. Hate that. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d prolly punch the wall, storm out. “You’ll live your past all over again”—movie again. Sexual-massage sounds like relivin’ a bad date, but stickier. Humor? Sure—imagine me, stone-faced, gettin’ offered “extras.” I’d say, “Keep your hands off, I’m a national treasure.”

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I get to the client’s place, and they’re waiting. I pull up, and they look relieved. I’m like, “See? I told ya I’d make it!” They thank me, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all.

Two Trinity Rowers to Represent Ireland in European Championships